The Argument
by Pandora's Teapot
Summary: Slash: Kirk/Spock. The Captain and First Officer have an argument that leaves Spock battling pesky. illogical human emotions and Kirk feeling just a little guilty. Please note, this is more explicit than I usually do and it is slash. You have been warned, please do not spam me with homophobic hate reviews! Enjoy!


Star Trek: The Argument.

By Pandora.

Slash: Kirk/Spock. Rated: M-mild R perhaps. More explicit than I usually do! You have been warned!

Swallowing his pride, Jim entered the ships laboratory wing. He knew Spock had taken his words hard and completely to heart. The words had come in a moment of anger and, as they demanded, the Vulcan had left his presence and not returned despite the hurt Jim knew Spock was feeling. A long, slow hour had passed since they had argued and Jim had finally succumbed, unable to stand the memory of Spock's attempt to mask a wounded expression any longer. The subject of their disagreement had been trivial in nature, as Spock had tried to convey, but the captain had never been one to back down. His words had become more and more heated until finally he had delivered the cruel blow:

"You don't understand how I feel, Spock!" he had snarled, "how could you?"

Jim had seen the pain flood into Spock's eyes - a subtle occurrence that had taken years for him to detect - and immediately regretted his words. He should have taken the Vulcan into his arms then, apologized and soothed him gently, but he had not. Anger and exhaustion still overwhelmed him and was joined now by guilt and shame. So instead, Jim had retreated and hurt Spock further:

"Leave me alone Spock," Jim had said harshly, turning away and refusing to look upon the elusive, but clearly damaged expression only he could detect, "I just want to be alone."

Jim played the memory of those moments over and over again in his head, each time filling him with a deeper sense of guilt and regret. How could he have said such things to Spock? Spock, who had broken just about every Vulcan convention to please and understand his beloved captain. Jim felt the sadness and pain swell in his chest. He didn't want this gulf that had formed between them, he wanted Spock close again. He wanted Spock to know that he had spoken out of spiteful emotion, that he had been illogical, that no one understood him more than the Vulcan. Jim lost his breath for a second as he faced the true point of the needle: he had implied that Spock did not feel and could not therefore understand him. He stopped, leaning against the wall to steady himself as he fought against his guilt. Memories of stolen kisses, gentle caresses, tender sighs and gasps in the night reminded Kirk just how much feeling the Vulcan kept hidden away from all but him.

Gathering back his composure, Jim continued down the hall, his eyes fixed on the closed door of Spock's laboratory at its end. Every step bought him closer and closer to the private sanctuary of his science officer, the place where Spock's mind manifested into physical existence. Jim knew Spock would be in the lab, it was where the Vulcan went when he struggled with his emotions, a place where logic was prevalent and accessible to distract him from the turmoil within. Jim reached the door and, with a deep breath, pressed the entry button that slid the door open silently. Sheepishly, he entered.

It startled Jim at first to see Spock in white rather than the familiar blue of his uniform. The dark features of the Vulcan seemed more defined against the contrasting white of the lab-coat he wore. Spock had been peering into a microscope, but looked up when he had heard the door slide open and then closed again. His dark eyes were now fixed on the captain, uncertain and unusually self-conscious. It broke Jim's heart. Abandoning the apology speech he had been preparing in his head, Jim slipped around the lab bench and took Spock into his arms, kissing him before pressing their foreheads together gently. He could see that Spock had wept and even now struggled to hold back his tears. Jim swept his hands over the face of his Vulcan tenderly, cupping them around his cheeks with his fingers stroking the pointed tips of Spock's ears.

"My love, I'm so sorry," he apologized in a sincere whisper, "oh Spock, I love you so much. I was wrong."

"No Jim, it was I who was wrong," Spock conceded, his hands folded together neatly in his lap, "I am a Vulcan and should not assume to know your human feelings. For this, I apologise."

Jim shook his head, a tear rolling down his cheek as he took on each of Spock's words, hitting him in the heart like tiny arrows. He knew Spock wanted…needed his affection, but refused to reach out for it. A cold realization crept over Jim and his hands fell to grasp Spock's hands tightly. Fear leapt and swirled inside him, forcing his heart to pound furiously within his chest.

"Spock…do you still love me?"

Something softened in Spock's eyes. He wanted to say no, he wanted Jim to feel alone and abandoned as he had felt, he wanted him to experience an emotionless Vulcan who did not desperately care for him. But Spock knew these were illogical desires seeded by a much deeper sense of love and the hurt it had brought. He understood now why his father had always told him that love was perhaps the most devastating weapon in all the universe, a logical reason to abandon it all together. Spock did not wish to abandon James Kirk.

"I will always love you," Spock said softly, brushing the tear from Jim's cheek with his fingers, "I cannot help it."

Relief washed over Jim. He pulled Spock against him, holding him close, and almost burst into tears when he felt Spock's arms around him too.

"I never meant to cause you pain t'hy'la," Jim whispered sadly against Spock's ear, "please know that I do not believe what I said, not in the slightest. Can you ever forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive James," Spock promised squeezing Jim a little tighter, "anger makes us…"

"Illogical."

"Yes."

"Are you off duty now, Spock?" Jim asked. The Vulcan studied him for a moment, the sadness in his eyes giving way to the familiar glimmer of love and affection that only Jim could see.

"I am."

"Come back to my quarters with me," Jim implored gently before leaning forward to kiss him. He let his tongue slip into Spock's mouth, tasting the warm spices that salted his lips. Their tongues rolled over one another, gently wrestling and succumbing, as hands caressed tenderly, smoothing away the hurts and regrets of their argument. Spock locked his fingers around Jim's and allowed himself to be led out of his lab and down the corridor, past sickbay and towards the officers quarters. It was late in the night by ship time, no crewmen were up to see the captain and first officer slip into the darkness of Jim Kirk's room, hand in hand.

Jim thought the lights were too abrasive, so he switched on the lamps instead, filling the room with a soft glow. Spock was neatly folding his lab-coat with meticulous care. When he was finished, he placed it on the table beside the three tiered chess board and locked eyes with his captain. Jim drunk up the elegant beauty of Spock, black-clad in his off-duty attire and waiting so patiently with his hand behind his back. He beckoned with a slight gesture and warm smile, and Spock followed. They sat together on his bed for a moment, hands entwined, fingers stroking gently in silence.

"I try to understand you as best I can," Spock offered quietly, his eyes falling in self disapproval, as though he had answered a question incorrectly. A hand reached out and stroked Spock's left ear, it made him shiver with the euphoric chills it sent racing through him. Slowly, he lifted his gaze again to meet Jim. The captain was smiling sadly and Spock gleaned a hint of the deep regret that Jim still harboured in his mind. Touching his fingers to Jim's temple, Spock sent a wave of loving thought to him, filled with forgiveness. Jim began to cry softly.

"No one understands me like you do," he choked, clinging to the Vulcan, his eyes filled with sincerity, "I never meant to hurt you Spock, I don't know why I said it, I never once believed it for a second. Oh Spock."

Everything is well now my t'hy'la, we are friends again.

"My love, my Spock," Jim whispered, nuzzling the palm of the Vulcan's hand. Spock drew back from the meld, there was too much emotion between them tonight, it would be difficult for Jim's mind and his own. Instead, Spock kissed Jim, stroking his blonde hair and yielding to the cool human hands that reached for him hungrily.

"James…"

Kirk's kisses grew more and more feverish as Spock carefully undressed him, running his warm hands over Jim's flesh as he went. An emotion surged against Spock's chest suddenly, something intense and akin to the relief that he was back in the safe and consuming arms of his captain. It made him press his kiss harder against Jim's lips and bury his fingers into the muscle that covered his back. Jim murmured softly before letting out a sigh, his breath brushing against Spock's ear lightly. Slowly, he began to remove the Vulcan's clothing.

"I love you," Jim said, his words punctuated by kisses. With gentle gestures and pushes, he laid Spock down and crept over him on his hands and knees. Looking down into the eyes of the Vulcan, Jim detected something he had never expected: tears.

"Spock?"

"It is okay Jim," Spock assured him gently, "I am just…happy."

Kirk smiled with love and joy before kissing both of Spock's eyes individually, running his tongue along his lips afterwards to collect the salty tears they had acquired. He kissed Spock's mouth, cheeks, ears.

"I love you, let me show you," he crooned in a low, vibrational voice against the tip of Spock's ear. Slowly, he began to plant a trail of small, wet kisses from Spock's ear down his neck and onto his shoulder. Shifting his weight slightly, Jim continued across his chest and down along the side of Spock's ribs. The Vulcan tensed for a moment as Jim's lips brushed over his hip and the kisses continued down along his inner thigh. Spock could feel the warm caress of Jim's breath teasing him as he drew closer and closer until, with a soft gasp, he felt the captain's lips close around him. Jim's mouth was warm and wet, his tongue eliciting a myriad of sensations as it swirled and licked and slid against Spock's erection.

"T'hy'la," the Vulcan murmured from behind a heavy breath. He gasped again as Jim took hold of his hips and pulled him deeper into the kiss. The captain was relentless, his tongue moving furiously as his lips slid up and down. Spock writhed in pleasure, his fingers clutching the bed sheets until he could contain himself no longer, tensing for a few moments as he was poured into Jim. The milky fluid was hot against Kirk's throat, he savoured it for a few seconds before swallowing it down and crawling back up along Spock's now limp body to nestle beside him.

"You do not need to prove your love to me Jim," Spock said breathlessly, rolling onto his side to kiss Jim tenderly, "but I am glad that you did. I do love you James."

"You enjoyed it then?" Jim asked with an affectionate smile. A warmth seeped into Spock's expression accompanied by the return of a flickering glimmer that had vanished since their argument.

"Very much so, a most satisfactory experience."

Spock ran his fingers along the muscle of Jim's arm, their eyes locked together in mutual understanding. Their love was deep and there were no barriers between them to soften the blows when they came. Jim was a passionate man, even as humans went, and Spock knew well the depths of that passion. It made Jim the formidable and revered starship captain that Spock had fallen in love with, intense one minute and vulnerable the next. He was beautifully human, illogical and determined, all the reasons why Spock was inexplicably drawn to him. Spock, the calm and calculative Vulcan who eased and balanced the headstrong Captain Kirk. Jim alone seemed able to see through the cold exterior of well-practised logic and into the soul of the human half of his lover. Knowing that beneath that graceful, elegant, precise creature stirred a tumult of conflicting emotions so well hidden and controlled filled Jim with admiration and adoration, especially when he looked into Spock's intelligent eyes and saw those emotions almost entirely reserved for him.

"Spock?" Jim asked, his eyes still fixed to the Vulcan's.

"Yes Jim?"

"I want to make love to you."

Spock brushed his thumb against Jim's cheek, his eyes seeming to fall deeper and darker suddenly. Jim felt himself swallowed whole in them, drowning in his chocolate gaze behind thick, black eyelashes. He moved closer to Spock, feeling the heat of his body against him. Taking Jim into his arms, Spock kissed him passionately, aroused by the press of Kirk's hands against his chest. Jim sucked on Spock's tongue before tilting his head back to receive a shower of kisses against his throat. The Vulcan's lips continued to kiss until they found Jim's mouth again before moving to hover over his ear.

"I had begun to think that you would never ask," he purred in a soft, dark voice that sent ripples of electricity shooting through Jim's spine and limbs. His hands slowly ran down the captain's body and Jim followed suit until they found each other beneath the sheet. They held hands as they massaged one another slowly, exchanging kisses and fighting to taste more of each other's lips. Kirk moaned softly prompting Spock to stop. He sat up on his knees and reached into Jim's bedside drawer, handing him a small bottle of oil. Carefully, Jim poured a small amount into his hands and rubbed them together to warm it before spreading it onto Spock with a smile. The Vulcan stroked Jim's cheek with the back of his hand, the smile returned and existent only in the glimmer of his eyes. Spock's arms coiled one around Jim's waist and the other over his chest as Kirk sat in his lap slowly, losing his breath for a moment as the Vulcan penetrated him.

"Are you okay?" Spock asked gently, holding him close. Jim nodded, letting his head fall against Spock's cheek.

"Yes," he assured, regaining his breath, "it just feels good to have you so close again."

They pressed into each other, rocking slowly at first and exchanging tender kisses and caresses. Steadily, their pace increased and Jim began to lean forward to sit on his knees, his hands splayed against the wall. He felt Spock's silken fingers wrap around his erection, sliding up and down in time with each measured thrust. Spock could feel Jim's heart beating beneath the hand that supported his chest, holding the captain against him.

"Your heart rate has increased significantly my love," Spock informed playfully, "yet I am doing all the work."

Jim laughed for a moment before turning his head to meet Spock's kiss. A deeper thrust made him gasp and almost lose his balance, but Spock held him tightly. Determining that the captain's response was one of pleasure rather than pain, Spock repeated the action, much to Jim's delight.

"Oh Spock," Jim panted, clutching Spock's arm, "do that again."

"Very well," Spock conceded, "does it please you?"

"Greatly."

As Spock pressed into Jim deeper and deeper, his hand continued to stroke the hard organ he held in a perfect alternating rhythm, driving Jim wild with pleasure. The captain let his weight fall against the wall, more than content to be pressed between it and the burning heat of Spock's body. He felt himself losing control, aware that Spock's fingers had begun to press into his chest, the mild pain adding to his ecstasy. Jim begged for more and Spock delivered until Jim gasped deeply and he himself could hold back no longer. They came together, collapsing into one another's arms on the bed, panting heavily.

"Spock, will you hold me for a while?" Jim asked between breaths. Without hesitation, the Vulcan pulled the sheet back over them and let Jim nestle against his chest.

"When are you next on duty?" Jim asked sleepily, tracing the tip of Spock's ear with his fingers.

"Not until morning, ship time of course," Spock replied. Jim smiled.

"We're en route for the next two days, so unless some Klingon's decide to make trouble, there's no reason why Scotty can't take the bridge for a few hours tomorrow. I could use some time off," Jim crooned happily, "as captain I'm ordering that my first officer take some rest time too."

"Is that so, Captain?"

"How would you like to stay the night, Commander Spock?"

"I cannot think of anything I'd like more."


End file.
